Awakening Through Love

Awakening Through Love

Peace in the Face of Death

(Photo courtesy of Nat'l Geographic)

As each day goes by, my mother approaches her impending death from Stage IV cancer…with acceptance.  We talk about death and what both of us envision after life will be like.  Although she has rarely gone to Church, she believes in God and Jesus and hopes that she will be with relatives that have already departed.  Her life has been difficult, having grown up very poor, one of eleven children, and having gone through most of life’s greatest stresses…divorce, the chronic illness and death of her second husband and most of her siblings and parents, and many more of life’s disappointments.

I think about what it will be like once she’s gone, when I forget and want to call her on the telephone and realize…she won’t answer.  Grinning, she says, “Once I’m gone, if you feel fingertips brushing your arm, it will be me”.  You see, she’s been the type of mother that would do anything in her power to protect her children, blurring the line between motherly nurturing and co dependence.

She tells me the same story every week of when I was little and looked up from my stroller and said, “Me push Mommy, let me push”, and of how independent I was, even then.

I am proud of the grace that she is showing during this process and realize I am my mother’s daughter.


Dad and Mom said...

My father stopped breathing over 30 years ago but I have found he is not gone. I find him in me quite often. In what I do, what I say and when I encounter a difficult issue I often find his wisdom surfacing in me.

See, he is not gone. Parents do not leave they move to a new place inside you.

ChaiLatte said...

I'm so sorry, yet I'm happy that you are able to be with your Mom and she makes her transition from this life. I was with my Mom and my Brother when they both passed on and while it was heart wrenching, I'm so glad that I was with them. Love & Hugs to you!

Sherry said...

Dad...Thanks for the beautiful wisdom!

ChaiLatte...You're right, I'm thankful I have time to be with her now. Love & Hugs to you also!

Akannie said...

Sherry--thanks for posting on my blog so I could come here and meet you !!

Bless your heart...both my parents have been gone for over 25 years, and I know that one day you will be so grateful for all this time with your mom. I didn't get that, and the older I get, the sorrier I am about it.

You sound like a strong compassionate woman. We have a lot in common, you and I, and I witnessed the salvation of my own son from addiction when I was sure I would lose him. But God has a plan for each and every one of us...I was told that, and I hung on to it like a life preserver.

I'll be eager to know you better.

Love, from Annie

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