Mind Games and Smoke Free

Although J is in jail, I imagine that he is in the military at boot camp! It is a way for me to feel better about his situation. I think that we fear the unknown and since I am familiar with boot camp, it helps.



J and I spoke the other day and he said that he volunteered to work in the kitchen 6 hours a day. He said it is making the time go by more quickly and mainly that he gets to eat more. His first day he had 2 pb/j sandwiches and 2 chicken patty sandwiches. Remember, he's 6'9" tall and slender, so he needs to eat...eat....eat!!

I was supposed to go visit him yesterday, but I ended up not going. I was thinking the football game was on at 1pm and he has joked in the past that when I visit it cuts into the first part of the game. Actually, the game started at 4pm. Since I can't call him I hope he wasn't disappointed. Part of me really didn't want to go, because we talk on the phone a couple of times a week, so we usually run out of things to talk about.




I am 84 hours smoke free...yeah!!

Gratitude:

My son is safe and sober
google - "you can find anything"
treadmill - easier on the knees and warmer
quiet home (except I have tinnitus so I always have ringing in my ears)

Awards from Friends

I received two awards from friends this week. The "Dragon's Loyalty Award" is from Barbara at The Needle and the Damage Done.

Thank you Barbara!!




The rules are as follows:
1. Thank whoever gave this to you
2. Copy award
3. Post it in your blog
4. Tell us 7 things that your readers don’t know about you
5. Link 7 new bloggers
6. Notify winners of the award with a comment on their blog
7. Keep being awesome!

I'm going to share 10 things because the 2nd award requires that.


1) I can still do a backbend.


2) I was on Match.com when my current husband and I were divorced for a year.


3) I used to believe back in my 20's that crying in front of people was a form of weakness.


4) I have lifted a 220lb. man onto my shoulders and swung him in circles (back in my 20's).


5) While in the military back in the late 70's, I took a train trip from Germany, through Austria, onto Italy to visit a friend and forgot my military papers. Back then if you were military you didn't need a passport. Anyway, I talked my way across both borders and again on the return trip.


6) I have skinny dipped in the Ohio River at night (not too long ago).


7) I have never flipped anyone off while driving.


8) Also, while in the military taking a plane flight from Frankfurt to London with a friend, forgot my papers again, so I rush back to the base to get a copy and upon arrival to the gate (about 20 minutes before take-off), there is no one there. Suddenly, a man on a bicycle stops and asks if I am Sherry ______. I said yes and he said, follow me. I am running through the airport following a stranger on a bicycle and they have me board a bus that takes me to the plane and as I am boarding, everyone claps because they couldn't take off since my luggage was already on board (embarrassing)!


9) I am missing one rib (when I was 7 years old the doctors said it was a birth defect). I must have given it to Adam!


10) I used to let J sleep with me from when I divorced his father (2 years old) until he was 10-12 years old. After I remarried when he was 6 years old, of course, it was very infrequent.


I am passing this one on to:


Chailatte at Hurting Parents~Addicted Son

Madison at Fight of Your Life

Renee at Mom of Opiate Addicted Son

Lisa at Loving and Parenting an Addict

Annette at Journey of Recovery...search for serenity

Heathers Mom

Lynn at Where is my beautiful, happy, perfect family


___________________________________________________

The "Honest Scrap" award is from Madison at Fight of Your Life.


Thank you Madison!!




I am passing this one on to:

Barbara at The Needle and the Damage Done

Debby at Oxycontin & Opiate Addiction How's My son

Mom & Dad at An Addict in our son's bedroom

Bill at DadOnFire

Cheri at Glass House Ministries

Gin at My Own Road

Ashes in the Wind & Peru

Today I took my father, grandfather and grandmother's ashes to scatter them at the Voice of America park. My grandmother passed in 1986, grandfather in 2004 and father in 2006. I've had their ashes since 2006. I chose the VOA park because my grandfather was one of the starting engineers for VOA in Germany during the early 1950's.

My father was somewhat of a lost soul and one of his hobbies was the ham radio. My grandmother doted on my grandfather, so I thought I should scatter them together. I said a few words for each of them and made sure I was standing upwind.

My mother wants to be cremated also and said she wants me to keep her ashes until I die. I'm not sure I want to do that....




These pictures are from my trip to Peru in April that I was blessed to be able to go on...the above shot is after a soccer game against 6 guys from Lake Titicaca (14,000 ft. elevation). Obviously, I was the only woman and the oldest person playing. I was the goalie and was able to block all of their shots and we won!!





This was taken at Machu Picchu after we hiked 3 1/2 days on the Inca Trail to arrive at sunrise.




This was a lady on the Uros Island (they are man/woman made islands out of reeds)!





I was feeding this Llama - they warned me that if I tried to touch him, he would spit on me!




This was at a roadside vendor - precious!!




We had fun in the desert jeep riding. I went on the trip by myself, but the other 10 people on the trip were from all over the world (Australia, Gibraltar, Morocco, Germany, New Zealand).


I quit smoking today - I'm on the patch - I am determined this time for many reasons!!

"Healing yourself is connected with healing others."

~ Yoko Ono

Court Results & Exotic Destination

In court last week, J decided to plead "no contest" to the physical control and the Judge gave him the minimum sentence, $50 fine and court costs. This week's two court cases also went well - the attorney was able to persuade them to not issue warrants and push the cases back on the docket so that J can be admitted to the rehab. He probably has about another month to go before a bed opens up - so he'll wait in jail.


I booked a trip to Thailand, Laos and Vietnam leaving December 8th and returning December 24th. My husband knows I've been stressed (mostly J's situation, my mother, searching for new career/job etc.) and supported my decision. When J called me today, I told him about it and he was also excited for me - he told me to be careful (he's a sweetie)! This is my passion and I'm going for it!

The new roommate decided to move in!! She'll be moving in a few days before I leave.

Gratitude:

J is safe and sober
Different cultures & opportunity to travel
Life

Pick a number at Jail & Roommate Search

Visited J at jail today. You pick a number and have a seat. You can call me crazy - but one of the ways I know God is with me is through the number 3 (which represents "the father, the son and holy spirit"). It has been an odd form of comfort. For a few weeks leading up to me finding J passed out on his bedroom floor and up until a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that the number 3 would appear constantly.

Almost every time I looked at the clock it would be 1:33, 10:30, 3:00, etc. and when I would pick a number at jail, it was always 3 or 13. J's inmate number when added together was 13!

When I went to buy new glasses, the bill was $333.63. When I got the oil changed in my car, the mechanic said it was $33.23, and then said "actually it is $30.23, I'm not sure where that extra 3 came from"! There are many other examples.

During this time I was feeling overwhelmed, anxiety-ridden, and all of the other emotions that a parent experiences when they finally comprehend the reality that their child is a drug addict.



Today's visit was fine. One of the positive experiences for him through this has been that his father and father's family have been writing him letters and reaching out. He's gotten letters not only from his father, but from both aunts, his grandmother, grandfather, my brother's ex-wife, my girlfriend, and of course me.

He even had an hour long conversation with his father (they only talk about once or twice a year). His father is planning on coming up from Texas to visit him over Thanksgiving!

While I was in the waiting room, there was a lady that spoke very little English (from Russia) and the police officer wasn't very helpful that was in the waiting room - so I spoke with the officer behind the 2 way mirrored glass and spoke for her. She was there to post $500 bail to get her daughter out. I don't know about the rest of you, but I get more pleasure out of giving than receiving!


I mentioned in an earlier post that my roommate moved out so we've been interviewing potential people. Last night a very nice girl in her late 20's, an engineer going to school at night to obtain her Master's degree (also a marathon runner, takes singing lessons, figure-skating lessons etc. etc.) came over and had dinner with us. She and I have a lot in common: athleticism, eating healthy (she's a vegetarian - I used to be), love of travel, etc. Her family is from the South Pacific Islands - one near Guam - needless to say she is beautiful (both inside and out)!

I have told all three people that have come over some of J's situation. I believe in being open and upfront concerning any possible issues.

She is making a decision by Tuesday - if it is meant to be it will be!


My husband is sick - possibly a virus or the flu. His fever was up to 102 yesterday. Sorry if I offend any men out there, but it seems whenever he is sick (even with a cold and no fever) the world is going to end. I have to say that he has gotten better about it, the older he gets.

Gratitude:

Son is safe and sober
Medicine (to make husband less grumpy and better)
Naps
Choices

Love, peace and happiness to everyone!!

Veteran's Day and Christmas

My husband and I went out for dinner tonight at Applebee's. I got a free meal because I served in the Army for 4 years (stationed in Germany for 2 1/2 years).


Am I crazy....I put up the christmas tree and decorations today! I played Diana Krall's Christmas music on my Ipod while decorating. I have to admit I cried a little thinking about J. All of the ornaments bring back memories...especially the one he made with a picture of him when he was about 8 with glitter around the edges.

I'm having family here for Thanksgiving - they'll think it's a little strange having Christmas decorations up already - oh well!



Tomorrow is another court day. This one was for his "physical control" citation - passed out in his car at a gas station. The urine test came back positive for "benzos" and something else - the attorney doesn't have a copy of the exact findings yet. J was on a prescription for a "benzo" for his sleep disorder so I'm supposed to bring that.

There are two more continued cases next week.

Gratitude:

My son is safe and sober.
My girlfriend was released from the hospital.
Holiday decorations, pretty lights, etc.
The peaceful feeling I have right now.
Living in the USA.

Peace, love and happiness to everyone!!

Life goes on...

I called the Rehab last week to see if I could have a tour and they said no.....so I arranged another book drive with a bookstore and took 6 boxes of books over to the Rehab. I asked the gentleman that I brought them to if I could have a tour and he said yes. It was comforting to be able to see where J will be living.



On Friday I went to visit my girlfriend who is in the hospital with H1N1 & pneumonia and dressed in protective gear. I rubbed her back and took flowers. I have known her for 38 years and I told her I loved her for the first time on Friday!



We gave our cat to my cousin yesterday because my husband is allergic to him. It was sad but my cousin has 2 other cats, a dog and two daughters. I'm sure he will adjust!



Today my husband and I rode our Harley for an hour to join our hiking club for a beautiful hike. It was sunny and in the 60's.


J has not called me since I saw him in Court on Thursday. The longest I have ever gone without talking to him is 2-3 days (except for when he was 3 years old when his father lived in Texas and had visitation for 6 weeks and wouldn't let him talk on the phone with me).

J told me recently while he was in jail that it makes it harder for him to talk with or see family while he's there because it makes him want out more. I believe it is his way of not thinking about it so he doesn't have to deal with it!

Gratitude:

My son is safe and sober.
My mother likes her new apartment.
The peaceful feeling I have today.
Finding a good home for my kitty.

Much peace and happiness to everyone!!