Peace in the Face of Death

(Photo courtesy of Nat'l Geographic)

As each day goes by, my mother approaches her impending death from Stage IV cancer…with acceptance.  We talk about death and what both of us envision after life will be like.  Although she has rarely gone to Church, she believes in God and Jesus and hopes that she will be with relatives that have already departed.  Her life has been difficult, having grown up very poor, one of eleven children, and having gone through most of life’s greatest stresses…divorce, the chronic illness and death of her second husband and most of her siblings and parents, and many more of life’s disappointments.

I think about what it will be like once she’s gone, when I forget and want to call her on the telephone and realize…she won’t answer.  Grinning, she says, “Once I’m gone, if you feel fingertips brushing your arm, it will be me”.  You see, she’s been the type of mother that would do anything in her power to protect her children, blurring the line between motherly nurturing and co dependence.

She tells me the same story every week of when I was little and looked up from my stroller and said, “Me push Mommy, let me push”, and of how independent I was, even then.

I am proud of the grace that she is showing during this process and realize I am my mother’s daughter.

Nature on my Street

Where I like to enjoy nature!

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars. ~Martin Luther

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. ~Albert Einstein

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.

~Kahlil Gibran

One touch of nature makes the whole world kin. ~William Shakespeare

Hope you have an inspired day!

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I've always been envious of people who seemed to know from early on what they wanted to do with their lives.  There are the musicians, artists, actors, authors, athletes, etc. that we see in the media, living their passions.  Most people I know do not jump out of bed eager to get to their job!

I joined the military out of high school so that I could get my college paid for and haphazardly chose to get a B.S. in Business Administration, because I thought it would be the most marketable degree.  I went to school at night part time for eight years while working full time as a Legal Secretary to obtain my degree.  My son was born one week before I graduated. 

I continued working in the legal field for a while, followed by a couple of years as a Personnel Manager and most recently as a Catering/Sales Manager helping people plan their corporate and social events.

The last few years I've been thinking about what career I'd like to have that would fill me with joy.   I feel bored and trapped working in an office setting.  I tried making a list of my interests, such as travel, organizing, photography, interior design, real estate agent, and health/wellness, to name a few.  I would then think about the additional schooling that would be required or the risk involved with starting a business and would stay stuck.

My main passion is travel and I've been blessed the last few years to be able to travel extensively.  I realize that travel and adventure is my passion and that is when I feel most alive and joy-filled.  I've been reading about successful people and how they've made their dreams come to fruition. 

They all basically follow the same recipe to success.  They have a burning desire, which they create a definite, detailed plan for carrying out that desire and envision themselves several times a day living that desire. 

There is no better time to start than today!

Beauty...Life

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunday evening my husband got home from visiting a cousin for the weekend, and I had a card with 10 things that I love about him in it and I had bought a wooden display case for the flag from his father's funeral, back in May, and had that on display in the family room.

He was really pleased and it brought tears to his eyes. Since then, every morning he's been bringing coffee to me in bed!

In Church on Sunday, the Principal from a local school spoke about the need for tutors to get her children ready for the State's Assessment exam. I posted the dates on Meetup and have some volunteers!

I met a lady at the facility J is in during a family night a few weeks ago and asked her if she'd like to go to dinner, so we went last night. She is a busy executive and doesn't have any friends that have an addicted child...nor do I...so it was nice to talk about our lives. We have so much in common, we both believe it was God's plan for us to meet.

J is supposed to get a 12 hour home pass this Saturday, but they didn't tell him he had to fill out a form to be approved, so he got the form submitted and will hopefully hear today. He'll be released for good next Wednesday, but as I've mentioned in other posts he has two more court dates with the other County within three weeks of his release.

Have a wonderful weekend....and rejoice in life!

Money = Happiness

I've been thinking a lot lately about money, success, spirituality, human suffering, career choices and after reading the following article, I felt more peaceful:

 An Austrian millionaire is giving away his fortune and all his personal possessions because 'they never made me happy.'



Karl Rebeder, 47, from Linz, claims he will use the money from his household accessory business - worth over $4.7 million - to fund orphanages and other help-the-poor projects in South America.


'I had the idea on holiday in Hawaii some years ago,' he said.


'My cars and plane have already gone and the rest follows very soon. I can't wait to be free of them.


'From this developed, less than a year ago, a greenhouse project which gives orphans the possibility to have agricultural training, to take up a small loan in order to make themselves independent vegetable growers.


'I set up a new non-profit micro-credit organisation to distribute these small loans to help these poor but industrious people.'


He told Austrian TV viewers of his plan to raffle his luxury Tyrol villa by lots - with all money going to the mymicrocredit.com foundation he started late last year - and shedding his fortune on the Stoeckl am Samstag chat-show programme, presented by Barbara Stoeckl, in an interview due to be broadcast in May.


Rabeder claims he is happy living in a small flat and surviving on the equivalent of $1,260 a month.



'My then-wife and I were on the plane together coming back from Hawaii in 2004 and I realized that I was dying through consumerism,' he recalled.


'It has taken me until now to realize that I don't need money and possessions.


'I learned as a child the value of money and how to get by without it.'


Rabeder's father was a painter, his mother an office worker.


He founded his first company in 1986 and soon became rich, adding; 'I thought the more money I had the happier I would become, but it was not the case.'


He now lives in a two-room flat in Innsbruck, is divorced and added; 'The worst that can happen to me is that I have to take a small job to get by.'

Of course, we all realize that we need money to live, but it seems no matter how much we worry about it, we always seem to have what we need (most of us).  I believe it is everyone's duty to help those that don't have the basics: food, water, shelter.

Peace, love and joy to all of you!!

Simple Things for "Haiti"

For every person who writes about the joy of simple things this weekend, Chis at Enchanted Oak is going to donate $2.00 to Heartline Ministries to help people in Haiti.

Here are the rules...copied directly from her blog:


Post your piece this weekend and include link to my blog. Then pop in here to say you’ve posted your “Simple Things.” Post by midnight, Pacific time, Sunday, and don’t forget to link with me and notify me that you’ve posted. You can borrow the “Simple Things” photo. If you don’t have a blog, a comment on my blog will count too if you tell me so.

"Simple Things that make me happy"

Memories of my son when he was a child

Hiking outdoors

Helping someone in need

Finishing things on my "to do list"

Taking a nice hot shower

Reading in bed

Knowing God is with us

Making people laugh

Feeling peaceful!

Peace, love and joy to everyone today!!

Transformation

As I watch the leaves fall from the trees outside, I realize how similar we are. They go through a predictable transformation every year. Although we don't see the transformation within ourselves or those we love as predictably or sometimes as quickly, the change is still occurring.

As we shed our leaves of hurt, anger, despair, addiction, anxiety and they are replaced with new leaves of joy, peace, patience, hope, health and happiness..... we rejoice!

"Nature often holds up a mirror so we can see more clearly the ongoing processes of growth, renewal, and transformation in our lives!”

More Good Qualities & Gratitude

My brother J:

Scared, cautious, concerned, generous, fair, friendly, honest, loyal, proud, sensitive, talkative, and trusting.

My brother C:

Curious, decisive, dependable, diligent, friendly, intelligent, independent, industrious, logical, reliable, skillful, sociable, and talkative.

My roommate:

Affectionate, animated, attentive, charismatic, cheerful, clever, compassionate, conscientious, considerate, dependable, dutiful, encouraging, friendly, funny, generous, gentle, helpful, honest, hospitable, imaginative, independent, intelligent, loving, loyal, optimistic, polite, respectful, sensitive, sociable, tolerant, trustworthy, warm-hearted and witty.

My son's girlfriend:

Affectionate, cheerful, compassionate, frank, friendly, funny, helpful, intelligent, loving, loyal, positive, sensitive, sociable, talkative, thoughtful, tolerant, trusting, and witty.

My ex-husband:

Active, ambitious, capable, clever, confident, decisive, dependable, determined, diligent, efficient, energetic, enthusiastic, faithful, funny, independent, industrious, intelligent, persistent, responsible, self-reliant, skillful, sociable, tenacious, and thrifty.

Today I'm thankful for:

1. My son is safe and sober.
2. Modern appliances (i.e. Refrig, stove, micro, coffee pot, telephone, camera, computer,
vacuum cleaner, I-pod, toaster, T.V. etc.)
3. My tempur-pedic mattress, soft sheets and pillows.
4. Artists / artwork.
5. God.

p.s. Had to take my mom to the emergency room last night (throwing up again & weakness) -
they think it's because she doesn't eat when taking her medicine and doesn't eat/drink
enough during the day.

Good Qualities

I'd like to write about the good qualities in myself and everyone that I know.

Myself:

Energetic, detail-oriented, organized, efficient, motivated, multi-tasker, patient, positive, trustworthy, sociable, compassionate, intelligent, observant, candid, adventurous, affectionate, considerate, dependable, tenacious and assertive.

My son:

Compassionate, loyal, affectionate, humorous, humble, gentle, generous, friendly, independent, loving, sensitive, sociable, talented, thoughtful, warm-hearted, brave and trustworthy.

My husband:

Polite, reliable, responsible, skillful, witty, capable, clever, compassionate, considerate, dependable, diligent, friendly, funny, and industrious.

My mother:

Candid, capable, compassionate, considerate, dependable, determined, faithful, friendly, generous, funny, independent, lively, loving, loyal, observant, reliable, responsible, sociable, talkative, thoughtful, and trustworthy.

So far, this has been enlightening to me, but I've run out of time - so I will post more later...

Inspirational Message

An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life...
He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
One wolf is evil -- he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.
The other is good---he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."
They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied: "The one you feed".

Inspirational Quotes for the Day

This is a picture I took when I was at Lake Titicaca, Peru back in March. The world is full of beauty!


"A positive future cannot emerge from the mind of anger or despair"
~ Dalai Lama


“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.”
Hugh Downs


“We judge of man's wisdom by his hope.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson


"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
- Mahatma Gandhi