Happy Easter

Update on J:

Although he doesn't share much with me about his feelings, he is quite vocal concerning my driving.  It seems I'm a bit fuzzy headed when he's in the car and a few times have almost missed turning where I'm supposed to...I'm sure it has nothing to do with waking up at 3:30am to pick him up...having a new route to learn....or his surliness with me. 

I'm what you would call an "assertive" driver.  I have never had an accident that was my fault and no one ever has to honk their horn at me.  I got fed up with his comments the other day, so when he said, "I don't understand why you drive the way you do", I calmly said, "I don't understand why you seem to take your irritability out on me, not your father, your step-father, your girlfriend, just me!  I have been driving much longer than you have been alive and have never had an accident that was my fault, so if you don't like it, find another ride and just shut up!"  It worked like a charm, he's been much nicer.

At Court last week, he was sentenced to 20 days, $525 in fines and 2 years license suspension, retroactive from March 2009, for the DUI from a year ago...that was continued many times. The Judge gave him the option of serving the time in jail or rehab. He has his last Court appearance for the felony drug possession this week and depending on the outcome of that, will then go back before the other Judge to give him his decision. The rehab will cost $600, if he chooses that.  He didn't think it was worth $600 to avoid jail and I said it was a drop in the bucket compared to the money I've already put out and that he was worth it!  Later, after telling his father about it, he said he would pay for it.

Update on Sherry:

I volunteered to tutor a child on Saturday.  She's in 6th grade and smart.  We had 3 1/2 hrs. to go over reading and math.  Initially things were going well, but then she began testing.  She'd get up to sharpen her pencil...5 times...open the window...2 times...secretly start texting with her phone, until I caught on...argue about answers that were wrong, insisting they were right...talk loudly disturbing others in the room.  I tried to keep her focused and on task, but when that didn't work, I ignored her and then she had to get me to focus.  It worked!

I moved my computer out of the master bedroom into another bedroom, so I don't wake my husband since I'm getting up so early.  I bought a few new pictures for the walls to make it more homey.

I went to a new hairdresser this week and just love my hair and her!  As we got to know each other, she asked about my son and I told her about his addiction problems.  She then opened up to me about her sister's problems and how it has affected  her and her mother.  I told her about my travel adventures and she then shared that she has a fear of traveling too far from home.  She's in her 20's...very cute...and her boyfriend moved to Texas.  She was going to visit him this weekend and was afraid that once she arrived she would feel panicked that she may not be able to get back home...an irrational fear.  She said that just hearing about my travels...most of them by myself...helped her.  It's amazing how we can help people just by being open!

Last night, as I sat on the deck letting thoughts float through my mind, I had a sudden urge to go buy an Easter basket for my roommate, whom I barely know.  In the past four months, we've spoken a total of perhaps 10 minutes.  She's an engineer, 27 yrs. old, from New York...her family comes from the Mariana Islands in the South Pacific.  I've accepted the situation as it is...she doesn't want a relationship with us...even to the point of not saying "hello" if you're sitting in the living room and she arrives home and passes through to go downstairs to her space.  My husband thinks she is "bitchy, rude, and wierd". 

Anyway, I ran out and got a basket, a plush bunny, an organic chocolate bar, hummus, organic black bean tortilla chips, guacomole, burts bee body butter, and a small potted rose plant.  She was in her office when I went downstairs to give it to her and I said, "Here is an early Easter basket", she said, "I don't celebrate Easter" as she shook her head and the look on her face was priceless.  I said, "It's just a present then...to make you feel good".  She said, "You didn't have to do this".  I said, "I know, I wanted to".  So, she gave me a hug!

Happy Easter to those of you who celebrate and Happy Day to those of you who don't!

Couldn't Sleep...

I got up at 4:15 am this morning...couldn't sleep...I think because I jogged 2 miles yesterday.  Although I've been active doing Yoga twice a week and went for a 13 mile bike ride last Thursday, I have to recondition myself to jogging at least 3 x per week and then my sleep is not affected. 

Or, it could be the new vitamins I started taking...too much energy!  My husband got up during the night to sleep in the guest bedroom and he just came in and said that he couldn't sleep because I was snoring and smacking my lips...embarrassing...he is a very light sleeper though!

J was not approved for his home visit on Saturday because he didn't get the paperwork turned in far enough in advance.  He handled it really well, probably because he knows he's being released on Wednesday.  It was a disappointment...I had purchased steaks to grill for dinner and we had plans to go out to eat for breakfast and lunch. 

I made good use of my time though...I went to the landscaping store with my husband's truck and got a ton of gravel to put below the deck and twelve stepping stones to make a path from the driveway to the lower level porch and deck...and dug the spaces out in the dirt for placing them.  I need fourteen more...so off to the landscaping store today!  My husband was a bit upset because the truck is not made for that much weight...and he was concerned that it might damage the axle or something like that!  Too bad we didn't have the device shown in the above picture!

I went to my ex-sister-in-law's (my brother's ex-wife) yesterday to help clean/paint for a few hours.  That is where J will be living for a few months, or until she sells it.  I skipped Church to go and she was at Church while I worked.  Her son, my nephew had moved out months ago to live with friends while he is going to college, so only my niece is there now.  She will also be heading to college this fall.  J is apprehensive about moving there because we're not very close...as in emotionally close...to them. 

I have been feeling quite peaceful lately...taking it day by day...and feeling gratitude for everyone/everything in my life. 

I am going to miss Lou and Madison...as I know all of you are!

Much love, peace and happiness to everyone!

Beauty...Life

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunday evening my husband got home from visiting a cousin for the weekend, and I had a card with 10 things that I love about him in it and I had bought a wooden display case for the flag from his father's funeral, back in May, and had that on display in the family room.

He was really pleased and it brought tears to his eyes. Since then, every morning he's been bringing coffee to me in bed!

In Church on Sunday, the Principal from a local school spoke about the need for tutors to get her children ready for the State's Assessment exam. I posted the dates on Meetup and have some volunteers!

I met a lady at the facility J is in during a family night a few weeks ago and asked her if she'd like to go to dinner, so we went last night. She is a busy executive and doesn't have any friends that have an addicted child...nor do I...so it was nice to talk about our lives. We have so much in common, we both believe it was God's plan for us to meet.

J is supposed to get a 12 hour home pass this Saturday, but they didn't tell him he had to fill out a form to be approved, so he got the form submitted and will hopefully hear today. He'll be released for good next Wednesday, but as I've mentioned in other posts he has two more court dates with the other County within three weeks of his release.

Have a wonderful weekend....and rejoice in life!

Life goes on...

I called the Rehab last week to see if I could have a tour and they said no.....so I arranged another book drive with a bookstore and took 6 boxes of books over to the Rehab. I asked the gentleman that I brought them to if I could have a tour and he said yes. It was comforting to be able to see where J will be living.



On Friday I went to visit my girlfriend who is in the hospital with H1N1 & pneumonia and dressed in protective gear. I rubbed her back and took flowers. I have known her for 38 years and I told her I loved her for the first time on Friday!



We gave our cat to my cousin yesterday because my husband is allergic to him. It was sad but my cousin has 2 other cats, a dog and two daughters. I'm sure he will adjust!



Today my husband and I rode our Harley for an hour to join our hiking club for a beautiful hike. It was sunny and in the 60's.


J has not called me since I saw him in Court on Thursday. The longest I have ever gone without talking to him is 2-3 days (except for when he was 3 years old when his father lived in Texas and had visitation for 6 weeks and wouldn't let him talk on the phone with me).

J told me recently while he was in jail that it makes it harder for him to talk with or see family while he's there because it makes him want out more. I believe it is his way of not thinking about it so he doesn't have to deal with it!

Gratitude:

My son is safe and sober.
My mother likes her new apartment.
The peaceful feeling I have today.
Finding a good home for my kitty.

Much peace and happiness to everyone!!

Swine Flu & Jail Book Drive

When I saw my son in Jail yesterday he was sick. He said he'd been sick for a few days and filled out a form the day before to be seen, but they hadn't gotten to him yet. Tonight he called and said that they took him to the hospital last night because he had a 101.5 fever. They tested him for the flu and it was negative, so they gave him some sudafed and ibuprofen (none to take to the jail with him though).

He said he feels better today, but that they moved him into a cell block that has 3 cells and he is the only person in the block. They had moved a man out a few hours before they put J in and that man had been sick with H1N1. I asked J if he cleaned everything with a disinfectant (including the phone he was talking to me on) and he said yes!

In an earlier conversation a week ago he was complaining that it was very hard to sleep because he was in a room with a lot of men who would fart and snore all night. Looking on the bright side, I told him tonight that at least he wouldn't have to listen to them. He said he'd rather be in with them now because he is all by himself.

It's funny how we think our current situation is bad and then we find ourselves in one that we find even worse. I told him I've been praying for him since yesterday to get and stay healthy and he thanked me.



I've been working on getting books donated from Half Price Books to me so that I can take them to the Jail. I got approval from the Jail with the condition that they can't be hardbound, romantic or computer related.

Today I am grateful for:

1. My son is safe and sober and overcoming his illness.
2. The beautiful sunny day today.
3. My husband is handy: can fix about anything, knowledgeable about
electrical, welding, mechanics etc. (he's out working on his truck
right now).
4. The backrub he just gave me a few minutes ago (I've been painting, jogging,
cleaning the refrigerator..etc. etc. etc. today)
5. GOD!

Love Thyself!

There are many ways that I take care of myself and love myself. I exercise regularly because it really helps with anxiety and has many other benefits. I've always thought that many people who are on anti-depressants, anxiety meds etc. could exercise instead. I recently read an article about how it is very helpful for addicts (but they have to want to do it - just like anything else).

I keep my house organized and decluttered because it helps me to feel calm and its just part of my personality.

I try to eat well (i.e. salads, vegies, whole grain breads and cereal with soy milk).

I read!!



I love to travel and have gone on quite a few trips by myself. I believe that it is very empowering to travel and especially by yourself. I drove through the New England states and camped part of the time. I flew out to San Francisco and took Amtrak trains and buses to Napa Valley, Yosemite and San Diego. I meet people all of the time when by myself. One of my most empowering trips was to hike down to the Grand Canyon by myself a couple of years ago. I spent the night at "Phantom Ranch" and hiked back up the following morning.

I volunteer occasionally for a church and for an organization that houses homeless women and their children.

I give backrubs (I have very strong hands) to people (family, friends and sometimes strangers).

I found a site online called "www.meetup.com" a couple of years ago and it has helped me to form new friendships and participate in activities that interest me. They are nationwide and I belong to a hiking club, dining out club, and about 4 others. Another club is for public speaking and I signed up because I have always been challenged by this (in school etc.) and want to overcome my fear.



I asked my son to go sky-diving with me about 1 1/2 years ago because I wanted to face that fear. It was an exhilirating experience. J was more apprehensive than I, but he loved it!


My husband and I are invited to 4 halloween parties and today is his company picnic that we're going to (and taking my mother also) so long as J doesn't have to go in for a drug test. Then as I was typing this my mother came out of her bedroom upon wakening and is extremely off-balance - so if she doesn't get better, we won't be going.

J went out with two friends last night and I was a little anxious. He said "stop worrying about me". I woke up at 4am and he was downstairs watching T.V. and was fine.



Today I'm thankful for:

1. The sun, moon & stars.
2. Music and musicians.
3. Cosmetics & perfume.
4. My blogger friends (thanks for the advice about my mom/driving)!

Have a GREAT day!!