Awakening Through Love

Awakening Through Love

Question / Hoarding / Gratitude

Yesterday, I needed to run a few errands after I took J to court and one of them was to pick out a halloween costume. The above picture is what I picked. As we were looking at the huge array of options, there was one for men of a "jailbird" and I started laughing, as did he (its important to have some humor)!!

Yesterday J helped in the yard for about 1 hour. I have been leaving his schedule up to him. Today, I took him to his 1 hr. class and the rest of the day was spent with him staying in his room (resting, watching T.V., talking on the phone, eating) while I vacuumed, mopped floors, jogged 2 miles, cooked dinner, etc.

My question is: I would like to say to him that if he were to relapse to please talk to me about it so that he/we could think of a solution - talking to a professional (although he doesn't have insurance) or to someone else....! I am afraid that might open the door in his mind to the possibility. Does anyone have a suggestion?

My father passed away in June 2006. I wasn't very close to him because he had a hard time expressing emotion. He had not had a relationship with my older brother "JJ" for 20 years. I was named Executrix of his estate and he had a condo and a house in S.C. So, my husband, both brothers, my younger brother's girlfriend and myself drove down to prepare the properties for selling.

I always knew my father was messy and would collect newspaper articles and box them up when I was growing up. I had no idea that he was a "Hoarder". My step-mother stopped living with him about 3 years before he passed because she couldn't put up with the clutter.

He kept the house (which was next door to her house) clean and that was where I would visit every year or so. When we arrived at the condo (where I had never been) I began to cry and almost hyperventilate (I'm usually not easily rattled) because the entire 3 bedroom, 2 floor unit was filled to capacity with anything/everything you could think of.

I felt such sadness and pity that I didn't know my father lived like this. There were boxes stacked 4 high throughout, empty shaving cream cans piled high, tags from dry cleaning piled on the dresser, etc. etc.. Unless you know someone that is a true "Hoarder" I can't begin to explain the mess. We should have had on face masks for the toxic nature of it. After I researched it, I understood that it was painful for "Hoarders" to let go of even garbage.

Today I'm grateful for:


1. Family & Friends
2. My son being safe
3. Food to eat
4. A Home w/furniture
5. Clothing to keep warm
6. Animals
7. Beautiful trees & flowers


8. The hot shower I just savored
9. Dental floss
10. Lotion


Madison said...

Sherry, Best case scenario - It would be beneficial for J to begin a recovery program now. If he will go, the people he meets will help him stay on track and will be more likely to spot his lies if he relapses.

Anonymous said...

Great Blog! Your positive outlook will help you on this journey. I have been accused of optimism too. I guess I am most of the time.

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