Question / Hoarding / Gratitude

Yesterday, I needed to run a few errands after I took J to court and one of them was to pick out a halloween costume. The above picture is what I picked. As we were looking at the huge array of options, there was one for men of a "jailbird" and I started laughing, as did he (its important to have some humor)!!

Yesterday J helped in the yard for about 1 hour. I have been leaving his schedule up to him. Today, I took him to his 1 hr. class and the rest of the day was spent with him staying in his room (resting, watching T.V., talking on the phone, eating) while I vacuumed, mopped floors, jogged 2 miles, cooked dinner, etc.

My question is: I would like to say to him that if he were to relapse to please talk to me about it so that he/we could think of a solution - talking to a professional (although he doesn't have insurance) or to someone else....! I am afraid that might open the door in his mind to the possibility. Does anyone have a suggestion?

My father passed away in June 2006. I wasn't very close to him because he had a hard time expressing emotion. He had not had a relationship with my older brother "JJ" for 20 years. I was named Executrix of his estate and he had a condo and a house in S.C. So, my husband, both brothers, my younger brother's girlfriend and myself drove down to prepare the properties for selling.

I always knew my father was messy and would collect newspaper articles and box them up when I was growing up. I had no idea that he was a "Hoarder". My step-mother stopped living with him about 3 years before he passed because she couldn't put up with the clutter.

He kept the house (which was next door to her house) clean and that was where I would visit every year or so. When we arrived at the condo (where I had never been) I began to cry and almost hyperventilate (I'm usually not easily rattled) because the entire 3 bedroom, 2 floor unit was filled to capacity with anything/everything you could think of.

I felt such sadness and pity that I didn't know my father lived like this. There were boxes stacked 4 high throughout, empty shaving cream cans piled high, tags from dry cleaning piled on the dresser, etc. etc.. Unless you know someone that is a true "Hoarder" I can't begin to explain the mess. We should have had on face masks for the toxic nature of it. After I researched it, I understood that it was painful for "Hoarders" to let go of even garbage.



Today I'm grateful for:

THE BIG STUFF

1. Family & Friends
2. My son being safe
3. Food to eat
4. A Home w/furniture
5. Clothing to keep warm
6. Animals
7. Beautiful trees & flowers

SOME SMALLER STUFF

8. The hot shower I just savored
9. Dental floss
10. Lotion