J and I hugged each other and he picked me up…he was so happy to be out! He wanted me to bring a pack of cigarettes with me, so he immediately lit one up. The first stop was his probation officer, followed by home.
He was on the phone for a while, talking to different friends. He went through his closet and pulled out a stack of shirts that he’s had for years and then wanted to go shopping. We went to an outlet mall, but didn’t find anything since he’s 6’9” tall, so we went to another store and bought some new socks, undershirts, etc. He decided he will order a few things online. He hates to shop and started to get very anxious.
Later in the car, I said that I suspected he was getting used to “delayed gratification”, in relation to having to wait for things while in jail/rehab and now for the clothes. He said that was odd because they had talked about that topic in one of his classes at the rehab.
He mentioned a few times, that he was trying to take it all in…the freedom! I guess it was a little overwhelming after being locked up for six months.
I was talking to him about his Aunt’s condo where he will be staying part of the time and mentioned that the extra bedroom smells like urine from their dog, even though it’s been shampooed…so he said…oh that’s great…then I mentioned that their dog is an ankle biter…so he said oh that’s really great! He cracked me up the way he said it…it felt good to laugh with him!
We went out to dinner...which made him a little nervous because according to probation he’s not supposed to be in any establishment that serves alcohol. Almost all restaurants serve alcohol! I said in the future we could get take out. Anyway, after coming back home, I played Guitar Hero with him.
He told me stories about how some of the men in the rehab were sent to prison for taking drugs that were given to them during visitation from family! They would do regular and random drug testing.
He already has a job working 60-70 hours a week that he will start on Monday in a machine shop. It’s the same job he had been doing for a couple of weeks before he went to jail back in August. The hours are 3rd shift, 4pm-4am, and we discussed it during dinner. I said that I would drive him to/fro, which means I will be getting up at 3:30am 5-6 days per week. It is a temporary solution, because I need to start working also!
He thanked me for driving him places, for purchasing the clothes, for dinner, etc. His girlfriend is picking him up and they’re going to a friend’s house. He said he will probably spend the night there. I made it clear that she cannot spend the night here…and since he’s a red blooded young male…well you know what I mean.
I am taking it day by day and today...I am grateful for the time spent with my son!
6 comments:
You sound like you are in a really good space and taking care of yourself. I am happy you enjoyed the day with your son and that he is home. Staying present is a great thing.
Without attending a drug alcohol treatment program under the care of medical professionals, you cannot hope to achieve complete recovery.
Sounds like a nice reunion and that you have a lot to be grateful for! Have a good one!!
God bless your son and you on this journey. No one has a guarantee that "it's the last time." Recovery is one day at a time, one choice at a time, and that goes on for years, hopefully. Personally, I didn't achieve "complete recovery" through drug and alcohol treatment with medical professionals, nor through rehab. I did find hope and salvation, however, through Alcoholics Anonymous and its 12 steps, even though I was dually addicted to drugs and to alcohol. Through AA I have recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body, one day at a time for 20 years, despite a couple of relapses. I hope your son gets to AA meetings ASAP, and that he too can find what millions have found in 12-step recovery. You also, through AlAnon. Best wishes.
So glad he's home, and looking forward to your next update :) Gosh, I remember what it's like to get to laugh with your kid. I used to love "car time" - she couldn't escape me!
God bless.
p.s. love the new blog look!
Things sound good. It is good to take it one day at a time. Enjoy the moments of laughter.
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