We’ve all heard that it’s important in many situations to be able to “trust our gut” or “intuition” regarding many decisions in our life. These feelings can cause us to decide not to date someone or to move to a city that we’ve just visited that we know is our new “home”. Sometimes, we’ve forged ahead with a decision although there is that internal voice/feeling saying…no…don’t do it!
As a child we heard the phrases, “Look before you leap. Stop and think. Don't judge a book by its cover." Instinct, or intuition, remains in us as adults, but is usually underdeveloped. Instinct is insight based not on reason, but on awareness. When we allow it back into our consciousness, we can become more effective in many areas of life.
We need to increase our self-awareness and when we suppress our feelings, we actually hinder this awareness. Acknowledging and identifying our feelings is the beginning of this process. Asking ourselves, “How am I feeling now, about this situation or person?”
We also need to be aware of others’ feelings and motivations, by being a good listener…not just to the words…but to the nonverbal communication.
"He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened."
-- Tao Te Ching
These feelings seem to emerge from our inner being, but actually begin with a perception of something outside—a facial expression, a tone of voice, a visual inconsistency so fleeting you're not even aware you noticed.
I believe that intuition is a combination of our brain’s stored knowledge from past experiences and also our emotional state of being. We’ve heard the term “paralysis by analysis”…if we try to make decisions without heeding our emotional feelings, then we tend to take too many details into account and take an hour to decide which detergent is best to buy. Or on the converse, we can make bad choices, if we only let emotion guide us, especially in areas we don’t have much expertise or knowledge of.
Many of us believe what we want to believe…denial. It is possible to justify just about anything: the brain is great at coming up with reasons. As parents or the spouse of an addict, our emotions…fear, guilt, anger…tend to guide us because we are so vested in the outcome. Many of us have built up experiences of dealing with some of the issues from our childhood, but they were also experiences that were driven through emotion.
When we’ve been lied to, stolen from, cheated on, it is difficult to trust again. Trusting ourselves and God is a good place to start!
8 comments:
Awesome post. You described trusting with great examples. I've always been a "gut feeling" person but when it comes to the drama of addiction at times I couldn't recognize or trust any input...it all seemed wrong AND right.
I love this part, says it so well: "I believe that intuition is a combination of our brain’s stored knowledge from past experiences and also our emotional state of being."
Thanks, Sherry!
That is a good place to start, but my daughter has to earn my trust again. So far, she has not made the first attempt.
Prior to our programs, I think our minds can become dangerous places to hang out and our judgement can become pretty impaired. I think our sponsor and friends in the program can help tide us over as our instincts improve and we can better rely on them again. Thanks for the reminder. Have a good one!
Hello Sherry!
You have a very interesting blog were we can relate with regards to relationships.
Till next!
PINK
In some situations I almost think intuition is God's way of talking to us, like a post Cheri at Glasshouse Ministries related in a recent post about being open to hear Him.
http://glasshouseministries.blogspot.com/2010/03/hindrance-or-help.html
You're right about TRUSTING ourselves - a hard thing for me to do - I'd rather "poll" everyone else (lol) and go from there... and trusting God.
Great post :)
God bless.
So very true, love it!
I've long trusted my gut feelings and it's not let me down,....but....dealing w/our son's addiction made me feel like I didn't know what was true....even when I had a gut feeling....our son's lies would often confuse me,even though I knew how totally untrustworthy he was. It's not like I thought that he wouldn't lie,...but so often I felt totally confused,...and it made my mind race and be overwhelmed by it all. I know that those of you parents that are reading this can relate to what I'm trying to describe. He's now 35 days clean, which is wondeful,...but I feel like I could still overreact at a moment's notice, or one sniff of trouble. What happened is that my gut feelings still work...but they've become too connected with being upset. One day at a time....
Lori
I listen to the voice within that basically tells me what to believe and who to trust. I can recognize BS--of my own and others. I hope that things will start to even out for you as you trust in your Higher Power.
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