I had planned to delete my last post concerning my husband before he returned from his weekend golf outing, but didn't...not sure why. When he returned, we caught up on each other's news from the weekend and I went to the grocery. I had listed my mother's stove on Craig's List for her and sold it in one day. The guy was due to come pick it up...which my husband was aware of. Upon returning from the grocery, my husband wasn't at home and the guy was there with his son to take the stove. I called my husband and left a message on his cell phone.
I was downstairs in the storage room with the two strangers and called my husband again...he answered...I asked him where he was...he said just driving around. The guy had to take the front of the stove off to fit it through the doors and as he was loading it into his truck, my husband made an appearance. I didn't want to be alone with strangers in my house...although my son was in his bedroom sleeping.
After they left, I asked my husband if he was upset about something...he said he read my blog. I asked why that upset him...he said because I left out the part about me yelling at him...I asked when I yelled at him...he said off and on through the discussion. He said he also didn't like the world knowing about our business. I told him that my blog is like a journal for me...a place I should be able to write about what I want. He said he thought it was a place for me to write about J's issues. I told him that this is a family disease and everyone is affected.
I asked him if I could set up a camcorder when we "communicate" and he said, a bit sarcastically, "I'll have to think about it". I asked him if he would go to counseling with me, he said Yes.
I know other bloggers have had the same issue as far as family members not being comfortable with how much is shared on the blog. I want to respect his needs/feelings, but also my own. When I replay the discussion and try to understand why he feels that I was yelling, I'm at a loss. That's why a camcorder would come in handy. I haven't asked about it again and he hasn't given me an answer.
Moving on to other topics...J leaves at 8am on Mother's Day to go into the 3 week DUI rehab. I'll be having the celebration at my house and we'll combine it with my mother's birthday, like we usually do. I asked J the other day if he is surprised at how well he is doing and he said, "Yes".
This is the best Mother's Day gift I could receive!
6 comments:
Great decisions you've made. Happy mother's day!
And Hugs!
:)
Glad things are going well with J. A great Mother's Day gift, indeed!
FINALLY!!! I found how to comment here--at the TOP? And click only on the little number i.e.,(3)! Whew!
It makes me happy to solve these small mysteries in life--well, in blogging life.
NOW for my comment: So far what I have read sounds like Peeps think you are having the "wonderful" life. True, it is a fine gift God is giving your son. However, any time ANY time I have asked someone who is going into detox, or rehab how they are doing, they usually answer "Fine" or "OK"...but they are likely in a very suffering mode. Because it IS NOT EASY!
So, your gift ON MOTHER'S DAY is one to be happy about. He may well come home a changed Peep--I pray for that, too--with you!
But these arguments with your Prince Charming cannot be so happy for you. There may be a turmoil going on inside you. And so.......
I realize Peeps maybe have suggested Alanon (for you) and they are RIGHT! The ones who know, i.e., "SYD", "oneprayergirl" and Lou and many others will vouch for the validity of what I write. If you wish their URLs, email me, it's in my profile, OK?
Surely Mother's Day will be a day of JOY for you, with your mother too, and knowing that J is where he is supposed to be that day, and on.
Blessings for you AND your whole family. Sorry if I sounded rude--grin...I get that way when I am enthusiastic about something.
PEACE!
I keep my blog for me to share about my recovery. It is not for colleagues or my wife. It is about me and not about them. At least that's the way I see it. I think that as long as I present a problem, then I have to also present the solution. That's what recovery is about. I try to stay in the solution. And that's the best place for me to be today.
I am so sorry for what you are dealing with in your relationship with your husband. But also encouraged that he agreed to go to counseling with you. It does take 2 to have the arguments and to make up.
J doing so well - That IS a great Mother's Day gift.
AND, I have to tell you THANK YOU!!! My gosh - I didn't realize it was THIS Sunday!!! I have to go buy cards and get them in the mail ASAP! Whew that was close! Thank you :)
God bless.
Glad to hear he is open to counseling. I also believe my blog is for me to write about whatever I like, it is my own private therapy and support group at the same time. My husband does not read my blog but he knows I have it. I don't give my blog out to any of my personal friends, co-workers or family members and that works best for me. They know I have it though and none have asked to read it. Maybe instead of a camcorder you could use a digitial recording device or tape recorder, just push the button and you can play back the entire conversation. For me I might find a camcorder a bit more instrusive and might limit my feelings/emotions during a conversation. My husband and I have recorded ourselves in heated discussions a couple of times and playing it back was very helpful. So happy for you and that J is doing so well. I read your next post and am glad he opened up to you about the police incident and his feelings about wanting to use. It is good that he is headed to three weeks of rehab to reinforce his program. (((HUGS))) and Happy Mom's day.
Post a Comment