During the time that my husband and I were divorced, I decided to join Match.com. Although I had other interests to occupy my time, I felt the need for some male company. I wasn't working for the six months that I was surfing for dates, so it became a part-time job...literally...I dated about 35 guys...most of them once...and a handful between two to five dates. Generally, I could tell if there was any chemistry during the first date.
Many of the men didn't look like their pictures! Looks have become less important to me as I've gotten older...although that "hard to define" chemistry is a must!
Being the organized person I am, when I found someone I was interested in....I would print their profile...and make notes on it, after having spoken to them...via e-mail or telephone. Many of them liked to text...a lot...and I don't. I prefer hearing the person's voice.
There was the guy I talked to on the phone who said he had gotten a DUI so if I wanted to meet, it had to be early evening, because he couldn't drive after 8pm. We had a number of conversations before I agreed to meet at a restaurant. There was no spark and when we walked to our vehicles, his was dented in the front and explained that he had hit a pole. Although he assured me he had only one DUI, later when I searched his name on court records, discovered two of them, and upon relaying my findings to him, he said, "I was 19 years old when the first one occurred and my mother had just died".
There was the handsome Italian Engineer, that I was initially attracted to but ultimately that was replaced with boredom. Or the cute blonde who asked me how he looked once we got settled at our table for dinner...uugh!!
I can't leave out the younger 36 year old, who had just been dumped by his girlfriend who was in law school and who said that I was going to help him get over her....NOT!
While questioning one of my first dates as we were waiting for our entrees to arrive, he explained that he still lived in the same house as his "soon-to-be ex...because of the kids". I asked how old the kids were...the youngest was starting college. I don't think so!!
I didn't even recognize one of the men when he entered the restaurant...he looked ten years older than his profile. When I called him on it...he said the picture was a few years old!
I had one scary situation. After meeting a man and hitting it off for lunch, we decided we'd meet later for dinner and that he'd pick me up with his touring motorcycle. I had been out running errands and was on my way home when he called me. We talked for about 15 minutes and as I pulled into my driveway, there he was. Never once did he say during the phone conversation that he was at my condo. I pulled in and immediately told him that wasn't cool and asked him to leave...he did!
I knew to stay away from the guys who had pictures of them bare chested, standing in front of expensive automobiles or posing with his arm on a blonde. It was a learning experience and helped me to hone many life skills. I also conducted an experiment...my first profile was a fairly accurate depiction of my personality...free-spirit, good-hearted...etc...a couple of months later I changed it to just a paragraph long...basically saying I just wanted to have fun and the type of men responding changed. Then I switched it again to reflect my more serious side (I'm a Gemini...go figure) and drew a new type.
During a yearly visit to my gynecologist, I mentioned I was dating and he said, "You'll find that most men over 50 are impotent and alcoholics". I said, "That's comforting"!
