As I was belting out Beatles songs last night on J's new "Guitar Hero", I sensed a sadness within me. My roommate, J's girlfriend, J and I took turns playing the drums, the guitar and singing. My husband even joined in for a couple of songs. Later as I acknowledged the lurking sadness within, surrounded by family bonding and "normalcy", the reality that J would be gone for 6 months, through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and his birthday, was looming closer like a space shuttle countdown.
My husband says he is counting down because it will be like a vacation, not having to remind J to turn off lights, pick up his clothes, put his dirty dishes away, etc. etc. Of the money that J has left in his bank account, I've talked to him about having a plan for me to pay the minimum balances on his credit cards while he is gone with that money. After he arrived home yesterday with the "Beatles Guitar Hero", I didn't say anything, because I know that he is here most all of the time, and needs something to do.
As we're all learning, the future is uncertain and mostly an illusion to them. As I read what I just typed, I realize that I feel the same way about "the future". I am thankful that he spent the money on that and not something else.
We had court the other day again and this Judge agreed to continue the sentencing until the beginning of November, after we go to Court in the other County. We have Court again on Monday and Tuesday for other charges. J had a urine test a couple of days ago and has another one today.
My roommate is moving out on Monday and I will miss her. My husband and she don't mesh very well so he feels differently than I do. He'd prefer not to get another roommate, but since I'm not working right now, the pressure is on and I am looking for another roommate. Our house is two separate levels and living areas, so there is plenty of space!
I deleted my last post, "The Eulogy" because I asked my husband if he would mind me posting it and he said that it is private! He hasn't expressed an interest in reading my blog, but I wish he would. I am an open person and realize that I have to respect other people's wishes/differences.
Today I'm thankful for:
1. My son is safe and sober.
2. My gas powered leaf blower.
3. Having a garage for when it rains/snows.
4. My reading glasses.
5. My sheepskin houseslippers.
PEACE AND BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE THIS WEEKEND!
2 comments:
It's so nice to read #1 on your gratitude list.
I am glad your son got the new Beatles Guitar Hero, it sounds like a special time, but I understand your sadness. My son will be gone for those holidays too. Its going to be a rough season. I am glad we have others who understand.
You are an open person, Sherry, and that's what makes your blog so special. My family rarely reads my blog either.
Great gratitude list, I like number one and five :)
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