Vacation and Therapy

We returned late Saturday evening from our trip to Dominican Republic.  I felt a little guilty going since it is only 250 miles from the terrible suffering of the Haitian people.  I did do the texting thing to contribute monetarily though.  Anyway, the trip was very relaxing.  The resort was an all-inclusive (including airfare, hotel, food, alcohol, airport transfers) and there were 8 restaurants, two pools and it was on the beach.  That is a picture from our room.

The weather was beautiful - 85 degs.  Every day was pretty much the same.  My husband would go down to the beach and put our towels on a couple of loungers under a thatched roof.  If you got down after 9am, there weren't any left.

We would then go jogging on the beach - head back to the room for a quick shower - on to breakfast  - down to the beach to lay out and I would usually read and/or people watch and take a daily walk on the beach.  There are a mixture of European, Russian, Canadian, and American people that go there.  Women are allowed to go topless, although not too many do.  My husband and I would hold hands while walking and if one of us spotted someone, we'd squeeze the other's hand.  It was a fun game for him!

As far as the therapist goes, I saw him right before we left for the trip and most of the hour was spent with me giving him background on the trouble that J's gotten into through the last few years.  My initial impression of him was that he thinks very highly of himself and his knowledge.  In so many words, at one point, he said that since he's been doing this for 30 years that he knows everything.  At that point, I told him that how I have been handling and intend to continue handling this situation is to research via internet, read books, continue with my blog and reading as many other's as I can, to find either an al-anon or naranon group and also to talk to a therapist and to take from each what resonates with me, because I don't think any one person or source has all of the answers.  I think he got my point.

I have had experience with 2 therapists during my first marriage for marital counseling and 1 therapist during the early stages of marriage to my current husband and I took my son when he was 6 years old to a psychologist for 1 year when he was 6 years old because my ex-husband was trying to obtain custody during that period.  Generally, I feel that talking with close friends has been the best therapy for me.

Last night my husband and I went to see this therapist again and I'm still not sure about whether we click.  At one point I started to tear up and he asked me what I was feeling.  I told him sadness and asked "Wouldn't you be sad if your child had just gotten out of jail, was in rehab, and a drug addict."  He didn't answer me, but continued to stare at me, so I just stared back.  Finally, he said "I get the impression that you don't have a problem being assertive with people in general, except for 1" (meaning my son) and I said that I didn't.  I tried to explain that I am assertive with J, but I am compassionate also.  It is only $20 per session to see him through insurance, but I'm thinking about seeing a lady psychologist who is not covered through our insurance, but she said she would only charge $70 per session (which is still a lot), but she is a psychologist who specializes in addiction and the other therapist is a social worker/counselor.

Gratitude:

J is safe and sober
We finally get to see J Wednesday evening for an hour
I have another job interview next week

P.S.  I've read everyone's blogs, but just haven't had time to comment yet!