Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom. *2Corinthians 3:17
When you have an addicted child that is homeless, in jail, stealing, dealing drugs, and worse, you wonder, how can I live fearlessly and joyfully? Some moments or days are harder than others, but if we can accept where we are at the moment with our feelings and release the struggle, we’re growing!
Although I have moments almost every day that I cry...from reading something sad on one of the blogs, thinking about the past, or seeing the pain in my son's eyes when I visit him, I am taking action towards recovery. I've written a list of short term and long term goals, tell myself out loud..."I love you", have started attending Church again, starting Naranon meetings again, etc.
I woke up this morning with the thoughts of "compassion" on my mind...and that was the topic of Peggy's post at http://peglud.wordpress.com/ today! If you've been following my blog, you'll remember me mentioning that my oldest brother is an alcholic and my mother is his enabler. His unemployment ran out and he'll be moving into my mother's one bedroom, senior citizen apartment at the end of this month. He has already sold his furniture.
He hasn't been looking for a job and my mother isn't allowed to have anyone live with her...we're fearful that she may be "kicked out" if they find out. I've been talking to my husband about how difficult it is to have compassion for him...especially since he has emotionally abused her...and physcially in the past...for years. I will always lend a helping hand to someone who will help themselves. I researched homeless shelters in the area and armed her with some phone numbers...just in case she could muster up the courage to force him to "fend for himself", because once she is gone, most likely that is what will happen.
Gratitude for today...
My son is safe and sober
My ability to forgive myself and others easily
The absence of fear
Peace, love and prayers of freedom and compassion for all of us!!
7 comments:
Oh man...tough situation. I have a brother and mother like that too. But my mother is learning to say NO, thankfully. But she is 82....its taken a long time. Sounds like some good changes are going on in your own life though. I am happy for you. And freedom...YES. In my experience acceptance and freedom go hand in hand.
What an uplifting post, thank you :) I like the thought of living free regardless of the problems of the day. Not always easy but good to strive for. I hope your mom is able to use those numbers and stand up to your brother.
Thanks for this post today, Sherry. I really like the "freedom" definition. I'm going to file it away for future use, it that's ok.
And - - - mothers and their troubled children. Is there anything harder? I feel compassion for your mother. She obviously thinks she's saving her son from homelessness, total destitution, etc. I can empathize. My own 92 yo mother is so devastated by her granddaughter's drug addiction. She doesn't know how to handle it - and often can be mean - even cruel - in her comments to me. When I feel verbally abused by her, I have to remind myself that her anxiety is driving her behavior, and she just doesn't have the skills to cope. Addicts/alcoholics have excellent manipulation skills, and know how/when to exercise them for their own benefit. I need to start a daily gratitude journal. Thanks for the reminder. And, I like seeing what others are grateful for. The simplest things are often the most reliable and satisfying.
Your focus gives me strength. Thank you for posting about freedom. This has special meaning for us, the parents of addicts.
Sherry,
This post was inspirational for me.
Thanks,
Anna
What a tough situation with your brother & your mom. The situation sends out the flashing FEAR in my head that I try so hard to overcome, and from what you wrote, sounds as if you have the same. Pray. Once you give her the numbers there's not much else you can do but pray.
As for "freedom" thank you for the inspiration - my refreshment for the day! Thanks!
I remind myself my son has his God to watch over him (just like I have), and it helps me with the freedom. Good post!
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