Awakening Through Love

Awakening Through Love

Current Events and Feelings



I will start a two month assignment with the Census Bureau as a Crew Leader in a couple of weeks.  I will be training people to do the door-to-door work.  There will be some evening and weekend work...for a total of 40 hrs. per week.  I am grateful that I will have some income!  J started his job Friday evening.  His Aunt, where he's staying...said she'll be working from home two days a week, so she could take him to work on those days.  There may be an opening for daytime shift in a few weeks because one of the workers may need surgery, and J's friend, who is on that shift could transport him.  That's what we're hoping for!

J's initial enthusiasm has been replaced with a sense of depression and anxiety...which he may be saving for me.  I'm quite sure around his friends/girlfriend, he acts differently.  Perhaps this is his subconscious way of "acting out" to pull me back into my old patterns.  His allergies have started acting up again...probably from the smoking...which I'm sure contributes to "crankyness".  I really haven't seen him much since he's been out.  He spent Thursday and Friday evening at a friend's place with his girlfriend and the last two evenings at his Aunt's.

He has court tomorrow for the DUI and will most likely have to serve 20 days in jail, but there's a good chance he won't have to serve the time for a few months because of over-crowded jail conditions.  This is weighing on his mind...along with his credit card debt.  His father told him that he'd help him get it paid off within a year.


I've been busy gardening, powerwashing the deck, spray painting lawn furniture etc. and making a list of "classic" books that I'd like to read.  I'm paying attention to my thoughts/feelings as they surface and noticed that while I was doing the back breaking yard work, I felt resentment that my husband wasn't helping much...especially when he was on the phone for an hour in the garage...or went to a friend's house to target shoot. 

I would try to switch my thoughts to ones of gratitude that I had the time and energy to do the work.  It doesn't have to be on my time schedule and to my level of thoroughness!
Gratitude:

J is safe and sober
I got a job
Free will & choice
My crockpot...easy cooking
Life

Peace, love and blessings

5 comments:

chitowngreg said...

Thanks for the gratitude. Have a good one!

Jennifer said...

Tiny ways we catch ourselves is what gives me hope for the big changes in my life. The little tiny steps make for a really long stride over time!

Thank you for these thoughts.

Shen said...

Wonderful gratitude list... That's something I too often forget to do.

When it comes to our children, it is so hard to let life take its course, sometimes. I have four, between 13 and 22. Sometimes we really do know what's best for them... but we have to sit back and hope that God has it all under control.

Sounds like you are doing that well.

Syd said...

Glad that you got the job. It sounds interesting. And it sounds as if you have a lot of good things going in your life. Hang in there.

Her Big Sad said...

Yay for work! I'm glad you got the job. Hope all goes well with the court/DUI issues. I'm glad you are able to take time to do some things you enjoy, like gardening and reading... Sounds like your backyard will be a wonderful place to relax and read, with all the work/cleaning you're doing! ((Hug!))

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